


the happiest place on earth (is with you)

by hellagayhufflepunk



Category: Carmilla (Web Series), Carmilla - All Media Types
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Gen, disneyland au, i know disneyland is problematic but let me have this okay, lots of fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-22
Updated: 2020-07-22
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:34:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 13,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25437787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hellagayhufflepunk/pseuds/hellagayhufflepunk
Summary: Carmilla hates Disneyland but a certain Jungle Cruise skipper just might change her mind.orthe hollstein disneyland au that literally no one asked for
Relationships: LaFontaine/Lola Perry, Laura Hollis/Carmilla Karnstein
Comments: 3
Kudos: 39





	1. Chapter 1

Carmilla hated Disneyland.

It was almost always too crowded, the food was ridiculously overpriced, the lines too long, and the kids too loud. Not too mention it was unbearably hot for most of the year, parking was next to impossible, and most of the rides were underwhelming at best. 

Yet, here she was: sweltering in the August heat, no doubt getting a sunburn, when she could be sitting in her okay enough dorm room unpacking the last of her things. This situation was not new to her. Mattie, her older sister and member of one of the most prestigious law firms in the country, absolutely  _ loved  _ Disneyland. The only time Carmilla could really spend time with her sister was at this god-forsaken place. Of course Mattie couldn’t have  _ normal _ interests like collecting stamps or wine tasting. No, she just had to be obsessed with a cartoon mouse. But Mattie’s schedule was too packed with important clients and Carmilla was in school most of the year so Disneyland was the only way they got to see each other at all. So that’s why Carmilla allowed Mattie to force her to go Disneyland multiple times a month. That, and Mattie pays for literally everything. At least Carmilla gets free food out of this. 

“Come, kitty. Space Mountain is calling our names.” Mattie says, her perfectly white teeth bared in a smile that was bordering on manic.

“I think you’re hearing things again.” Carmilla replies, taking a very unladylike bite out of her foot long churro and chewing with her mouth open. She knows how much it bothers Mattie when her manners are atrocious. 

Mattie rolls her eyes. They weave through crying toddlers and stressed parents to the entrance of Space Mountain. Admittedly, this was one of Disneyland’s more tolerable attractions. 

The line was long but not as long as it could have been- they once wasted three hours in this line. This time is was only an hour they had to stand around and slowly trudge forward. Carmilla finished her churro in a few wolfish bites and fiddled with the wax paper it was wrapped in, much to the annoyance of Mattie. 

“Will you be quiet?” Mattie hisses.

Carmilla momentarily stops her crinkling of the paper. “Oh, are you going to tell these ridiculous children to be quiet too?” Carmilla glares at the toddlers a few yards in front of them screaming either in joy or anger.

Mattie chuckles. “Lighten up, moppet.”

Carmilla sighs. “I don’t understand why you love this place so much.” 

“Well, it is the happiest place on earth.” There was that kinda-sorta-manic smile again.

A child let out a piercing scream a few yards ahead. Carmilla was so used to such things at this point she didn’t even jump. 

“Yes, well, I prefer the moon.”

This earns another chuckle from Mattie.

////

They made it to the front of the line. The ride operator is admittedly one of Carmilla’s favorites. They are sarcastic as hell and once Carmilla saw them give major shit to a really rude mom. 

“Hello, LaFontaine.” Mattie greets them by name because that is how often she goes to this damned park. There are probably only a handful of people in the world who go often enough to Disneyland for them to know virtually all the ride operators by name. And even less who go often enough to have  _ favorites _ .

“Hey, Ms. Belmonde! Long time no see!” LaFontaine jokes. Mattie was just at the park a week ago. Thankfully Carmilla was able to get out of that trip because she was moving into her dorm room. Too bad classes don’t start for another week because Carmilla didn’t have an excuse to get out of today’s trip. 

“LaFontaine dear, it is so good to see you.” How Mattie manages to sound so formal and yet so friendly will forever be a mystery to Carmilla.

The two exchange a few pleasantries while Carmilla gets on the ride. She straps herself in and makes a show of tapping her feet impatiently when Mattie finally sits besides her/. 

“Did Tweedle Dee give you their entire life story again?” Carmilla says dryly.

“LaFontaine is planning on proposing to Perry.” Mattie replies.

“Huh. It’s about time.” 

Carmilla wasn’t as invested as Mattie was in other people’s business but even Carmilla had to admit this was interesting. Mattie had been frequenting Disneyland for seven years now- ever since she got hired at the law firm- and LaFontaine had Perry’s relationship had evolved during that time. When Matie first started coming, LaF and Perry were just ‘best friends’ and too oblivious to notice how in love they were with each other. Now they were planning on getting married. 

They don’t have much time for conversation because the ride starts a few seconds later.

(Thank god)

////

LaFontaine plans on taking Perry on a picnic to Perry’s favorite park- the same park they met at when they were five years old. After a long evening of drinking wine and eating homemade treats, LaF is going to get down on one knee and give Perry a ring that LaFontaine made themself. The only reason Carmilla knows all of this riveting information is because after another two rounds of Space Mountain, Mattie decided she just  _ had _ to talk to LaFontaine at length about their proposal. 

All Carmilla wanted was lunch. Or, better yet, to be in her nice, barely air conditioned dorm room. Instead, she’s listening to someone who should be a stranger go on and on and on about their wedding plans. For someone who puts up a cold and callus front like Mattie, she sure seems perfectly happy listening to LaFontaine recount how they met Perry. Carmilla impatiently taps her foot until finally Mattie is done talking to LaFontaine. 

“You act like the children you complain about.” Mattie chides.

Carmilla just rolls her eyes and leads them to the nearest restaurant, which happens to be the pizza place near the entrance to Space Mountain. They eat quickly, Carmilla wolfing down half a pizza in the time it takes Mattie to eat a single slice because-  _ seriously _ \- who uses a fork and knife to eat pizza? 

(Mattie that’s who)

Their day is a blur of rides intermittent with ice cream and popcorn and coffee from vendors. Carmilla is the one eating all the treats and Mattie is the one paying for it all. Despite this, Carmilla complains every chance she gets.

“Seriously, Mattie, when can we go home?” Carmilla drawled, throwing the remnants of her ice cream cup in a nearby trash can. 

“One more ride, darling.” Mattie replies, quickening her pace towards Jungle Cruise. No one should be able to walk that fast in six inch heels.

////

Jungle Cruise is Carmilla’s least favorite ride. It’s boring, the jokes are too scripted, and the outfits the ride operators have to wear are just plain hideous. Usually when Mattie just  _ has _ to ride Jungle Cruise, Carmilla will go on Indiana Jones or Pirates of the Caribbean. Once she tried to hop the fence to swim to Tom Sawyer’s Island but was nearly tackled to death by a stupidly tall security guard with red hair. Carmilla barely managed to escape a sentence in Disneyland jail. Mattie was a lawyer for a reason, and that reason was she could convince nearly anyone of anything.

For some reason beyond Carmilla’s comprehension, she decides to join Mattie. Maybe she can try to rile up the skipper. That’s always fun. 

The wait isn’t long but it feels like forever because even at sunset the park is uncomfortably hot. 

“Oh, lose the frown Carmilla. You do not need to be getting wrinkles at nineteen.” Mattie says with a click of her tongue.

“I’m not frowning. This is just my face you asshole.”

“Please do watch the language darling. There  _ are _ children around. Other than you, of course.” 

“You know, with all the money you have, you didn’t think to buy fast passes?”

“And spoil the fun of spending time with you? Perish the thought.” 

“You’re an ass.”

“As they say, it takes one to know one.”

////

There are three Jungle Cruise skippers that Carmilla is used to seeing: 

  1. A guy so old he no doubt witnessed the crucifixion of Christ. He tells interesting, albeit long, stories that are probably not true in the slightest and have nothing to do with the ride. His name is Vordenburg.
  2. A young girl who was Carmilla’s age that Carmilla maybe definitely hooked up with several months ago and several times since. Her name is Elsie.
  3. A guy around the same age as Elsie who was okay enough but acts like he has a stick shoved up his ass ninety nine percent of the time. His name is Theo.



The skipper isn’t any one of those three. The skipper isn’t anyone Carmilla has ever seen before. 

(Maybe, Carmilla thinks, she has seen this girl before. Last year Carmilla took an art history class. It was interesting enough and the assignments weren’t hard. For her final project she had to go to an art museum and write a paper about the works on display. She spent an entire afternoon staring at sculptures and paintings of beautiful people- especially women. The girl in front of her looks like she could have modeled for Da Vinci or Michelangelo.)

(Carmilla wants to literally punch herself in the face for being so cliche and so  _ gross _ .

The girl is wearing a khaki suit for Christ’s sake. No one looks good in khaki.)

(Except this girl  _ does _ )

“Welcome aboard!” The skipper says. Her voice is a normal girl voice except to Carmilla it sounds like a choir of angels and she  _ really _ needs to get a hold of herself. 

Carmilla finds herself staring into the skipper’s eyes. They’re brown. Not the so-brown-they’re-almost-black shade of brown that Carmilla has, but a much lighter shade. They are so full of life and light Carmilla almost forgets to breathe. 

“Are you okay?” The way she goes from cherry to actually concerned makes Carmilla’s heart swell. Carmilla then tells her heart to fucking stop it because she cannot fall for someone who works at fucking  _ Disneyland _ .

Because the universe likes to torture her, Mattie seats them at the very front of the boat which is right next to the skipper. Carmilla crosses her arms and keeps her chin down to prevent everyone from seeing the ridiculous blush form on her cheeks. 

The ride starts and the skipper seems to burst to life right along with it. 

“Hello fellow explorers!”, she freaking  _ chirps _ , “My name is Laura and today we’re going to go through a dangerous journey through some of the most hostile territories known to humankind.” Some of the kids onboard ‘oohed’ and ‘ahed’. 

“Really, cutie? I thought we were in California.” Carmilla said quiet enough under her breath so that only Laura and Mattie could hear her. Mattie shot her a look somewhere between annoyance and anger. 

Laura faltered for only a moment, it was barely even noticeable.

“Alright, gentle viewers, now we’re heading into the Lion’s den. These helpful lions are helping out their zebra pal.” Laura says as they pass the lions eating the zebra.

“Only true friends eat each other.” Carmilla gives Laura a seductive look. “Isn’t that right, buttercup?” The girl is barely shorter than Carmilla but definitely much more fit. Her toned body is apparent even through the baggy khaki uniform. Which, again, no one is supposed to look this good in khaki but Laura makes it look like something straight from a New York Runway.

Laura looked like she really wanted to say some fiery comment back. Her nose scrunched up, her eyes narrowed, and her lips quivered in anger. But being telling off guests probably was a fireable offense. It was the most adorable angry face Carmilla had ever seen.

Carmilla manages to slip in eight more innuendos and six lewd comments before the ride is over. Laura gets more and more flustered and the more she tries to hide it the worse it gets. By the time Carmilla is hopping off the boat, she can practically see smoke coming from Laura’s ears.

“Thanks for the tour, skipper.” Carmilla says with a two fingered salute and a cocky grin.

Carmilla isn’t even out of earshot when she hears Laura growl in frustration.

(She smirks to herself. Maybe Disneyland isn’t the worst place after all)

_____

Laura Hollis loved Disneyland. Ever since she first visited the park when she was six years old she truly felt Disneyland was the happiest place on earth. And she can’t believe she actually got a job  _ working _ there. It’s the best job in the entire world. 

(Okay maybe not  _ the _ best job. Working as a Jungle Cruise skipper wasn’t going to be a lifetime thing for her- she did want to be a journalist after all- but working at Disneyland certainly isn’t a bad way to pay the bills)

Almost every day she gets to go to Disneyland and help people make their vacations just a little more memorable. She gets to see unbridled joy on little kids’ (and adults’) faces, make funny jokes that causes choruses of laughter, and be surrounded by amazing coworkers that have become like a second family to her. 

She smiles at Kirsch, one of the security guards, while she enters one of the employee entrances.

“Hey, little nerd.” Kirsch says good naturedly while Laura put her backpack on the table for it to be checked. He gave her that nickname her first day on the job when he noticed the Doctor Who and Hufflepuff pins on her backpack.

“Hey, Kirsch.” She greets him with a bright smile. Even though Kirsch can sometimes say less than polite things (it took her months to train him not to call every girl he saw a ‘hottie’) his heart is always in the right place. 

“How’s it going?” He asks while checking her bag. He checks and rechecks every compartment. While his process can be a little slow- especially when he is working security at the main gate- he has found multiple bags of drugs, cans of pepper spray, even a knife. So his slow approach was worth it. 

“Pretty good. I registered for classes last night.”

“Oh, sweet! What are you taking?” He zips up her bag and hands it back to her. 

“19th Century English Literature, Communications, and a Psych class.” Laura takes her backpack and slings it over her shoulder. 

“Nice! Hey, Danny is like super good at english maybe you should talk to her if you get the chance. She could you some pointers. Not that you really need pointers. You’re, like, one of the smartest people I know.” Kirsch says.

His crush on Danny, another one of the security guards, is its own kind of adorable. And who wouldn’t have a crush on Danny? When Laura first started working here (and okay, even now) she had a crush on Danny. Who can blame her through? Danny is six feet two inches of beauty and bravery. Laura maybe (read: totally) had a massive crush on Danny when she first started working here. Thankfully that massive crush has calmed down. Sort of.

“Thanks, Kirsch. Have a good day.”

“You too, little nerd.” He gives a salute and Laura returns the favor. 

////

While Laura hadn’t been working at Disneyland for long, she likes to think she’s gotten pretty good at figuring out which people are going to cause her trouble. Like what kids are going to have a meltdown or what douchecanoe guy is going to try and flirt with her. It’s not all about stereotyping either. Some of the most patient kids were the ones with crossed arms and sunburned faces. Some of the kindest guys were the ones in tank tops and backwards hats. It was more about the energy they gave off. Kind of like gaydar.

The girl currently climbing aboard the boat is setting off all kinds of alarms on Laura’s radar. (And, okay, yes, also her gaydar but whatever) She’s a little bit sunburned, wearing all black in 85 degree heat, and looks more than a little annoyed at everything in the universe. 

(Holy Hufflepuff the girl is also super  _ attractive _ )

(In a broody, vampiric kind of way but that’s not the point)

Before she even sits down Laura just knows this girl is going to be trouble. 

////

Trouble is an understatement. 

The girl switches between belittling her and flirting with her. It is the worst ride Laura has ever done. No one has ever gotten under her skin like that. Especially not in the span of ten minutes. 

Finally the ride ends and the girl leaves the boat. But not before the girl throws a flirtatious smirk in Laura’s direction along with the biggest seduction eyes Laura has ever seen.

(Yup.  _ Trouble _ )

////

Thankfully the rest of her shift passes without much excitement. Or annoying guests. It’s just past seven when she leaves the park and heads to a nearby diner where she was meeting Kirsch, Perry, Danny, Perry, and LaF for dinner. 

Dinner with them was a weekly occurrence. If not more. There was a 24 hour diner just a few blocks from the park. It served some of the best food Laura had ever tasted in her life. Not to mention the best cocoa ever. Though the decor left something to be desired. It always had weird, vaguely Christmas decorations, no matter what season it was.

Danny and Kirsch were already at the table competing in one of their weird bets. This time it was who could eat the most onion rings in five minutes. Laura ordered a plate of chicken fingers and a basket of fries. She came here so often the waitress didn’t even wait for Laura to order hot cocoa. It was just placed in front of her.

“Thank you, Mama Klaus.” Laura says to the waitress. 

“You’re very welcome dear. Are you sure you don’t want some gingerbread cookies?” She asks in a thick german accent.

“Oh, no thank you.” Laura doesn’t mention that the first and last time she had gingerbread cookies from this place she got food poisoning from them. She puked her guts out for a solid thirty six hours.

“Ha!” Kirsch yells, bits of onion ring falling out of his mouth. “I win!”

“Oh, please. You had all the small onion rings. Mine were huge!”

“You just don’t want to admit that I actually beat you at something.”

Danny rolls her eyes. “Like winning an  _ onion ring _ eating contest is something to be proud of.”

“Maybe not. But beating you definitely is something. To be proud of.” Kirsch says with a smirk. Danny throws an onion ring at his face.

LaF and Perry arrive a few minutes later. LaF orders a plate of nachos and beers for everyone- minus Laura since she’s only nineteen- before they even sit down. They are in a much more cheery mood than usual. Then again they almost are always in a cheery mood. Just like Perry.

The five friends strike up some small talk while they wait for their food to arrive. Once Laura digs into her chicken fingers she almost forgets about that awful girl. Until Kirsch asks if they have any stories to tell about their day. This launches Laura into a rambling, angry tangent, recounting every single irksome detail about the girl. 

“Ugh she was just so  _ ugh _ ! She was so rude and disrespectful! I have never had to deal with anyone like her before!” Laura vents, hands flailing to illustrate her frustration with a certain dark haired girl.

“Let me guess. She was five foot two, dark hair, bangs, pale as hell? With a woman dressed like she’s going to a board meeting?” Danny wonders. 

“Uh, yeah. That’s actually a really accurate description. How did you-”

“That’s Carmilla.” Danny takes a swig of her beer. “She’s the younger sister of Mattie Belmonde who’s, like, the most frequent flier we have.” 

“How come I’ve never seen her before?” Laura asks.

“Because she’s not exactly the biggest fan of Disneyland. I’m pretty sure she hates it, actually.” LaF says. They emphasize their point by taking one of the chips from their basket and chomping on it loudly.

“Just because she doesn’t want to go to Disneyland every week doesn’t mean she hates it.” Perry replies.

“Dude. Like the only reason she goes is because she wants to spend time with Mattie. That and Space Mountain is the best ride.” LaF argues.

“Oh please, Space Mountain has nothing on Indiana Jones.” Kirsch fires back.

“Can we focus, please?” Laura says a little too loudly for the relatively quiet restaurant. “How do I deal with her? If she is a frequent flier then I’m probably going to deal with her. So… how do I do that?”

“Hope she doesn’t do anything illegal.” Danny scoffs, taking another drink of her beer.

“Really? Not helpful.” Laura sighs and thumps her head on the table. 

“Oh come on, Carm isn’t that bad. She just doesn’t like you because you can be a little b-”

“If you say ‘bitchy’ Kirsch, I swear to  _ God _ I will jump over this table and smash your head onto the floor.”

“Dude, chill. I was going to say ‘bossy’.” He crosses his arms and slumps in his seat. “I know better than to say the ‘b’ word to you.” He adds, muttering to himself.

“So, there’s like-” Laura jolts back to life, “Like no way to deal with her?”

“Laura, dear.” Perry begins. “Carmilla is just one of those people that you have to deal with. She will say things and be rude but you can’t let her get under your skin. When you react that just antagonizes her more.”

“Sounds like you know her pretty well.” Laura replies.

“We went to high school together. Mel, too.” Perry takes a sip of her wine.

“You went to high school with Vampirella and Mel?” Danny sounds astonished. 

“Yes. We- were different then.” Perry folds her hands into her lap.

“Wait wait wait, were you guys  _ friends _ ?” Kirsch leans forward.

“Mel and I were.” Perry’s lips twitch upwards in a sad smile. “We were both outcasts and we were best friends up until sophomore year. She got a boost of confidence and joined every sport team and club she could. And left me in the dust with my Wicca.” Perry sounds sad and takes a hasty glug of her wine to try and cover that fact up.

“You- Ms. Please Be Normal and Betty Crocker incarnate- were into  _ witchcraft _ ?” Danny replies. 

“Really, Danny? That is what you took away from this?” Laura questions.

“What are we divulging our tragic backstories now?” LaFontaine jokes, trying to get the attention off Perry. . They always try to lighten the mood. They were with Perry during that whole mess with Mel and they were there again when they realized they were working together at the same place. They knew Perry since they were five. They had a front row seat to all the pain.

“Pass.” Danny says.

“Yeah me too.” Laura replies. 

“Oh come on. It can be fun.” LaF says.

“I’m pretty sure the words ‘tragic’ and ‘fun’ have never been used in the same sentence ever. Trust me, I majored in English in college.” Danny retorts.

“Yeah, and I went to a prestigious STEM high school, double majored in biochemistry and neuroscience,and now operate a ride at Disneyland. So, cheers.” LaF replies, raising their beer bottle. Everyone reluctantly clinks their glasses together.

“Please, Frosh, do us all proud and actually get a job in the field you actually studied for. Please don’t end up like us poor souls.” LaF says, giving Laura some of the most intense eyes Laura has ever seen. She’s not completely sure in LaF is joking or not.

Laura rolls her eyes but nods anyways.

(All in all, she could have a way worse group of friends)

_____

Back at her dorm room, Carmilla couldn’t get a certain pair of honey brown eyes out of her mind. And she tried so hard to think of anything  _ but _ Laura’s eyes. She tried reading three different books, taking a walk, even going to the cafe down the street from her university and flirting with the barista there. 

Nothing was working. 

Literally nothing.

Carmilla has had crushes before-

(Oh god  _ no _ . She refuses to acknowledge this as a crush. Laura was  _ not _ a crush)

Carmilla has met beautiful girls before, loved beautiful girls before, had her heart broken by beautiful girls before, and was in no rush to want to go through any of that cycle again. Right now she wanted to focus on school; not on how someone can look so good in fucking khaki shorts. 

God damn it why did Mattie have to drag her to that damned place so much? What the hell did a super successful lawyer see in a Mecca for snotty children and Make-A-Wish kids?

Carmilla grabbed her bag and stomped out of her room for the third time that evening, marching off to a destination she was not yet aware of. 

_____

“Damn, Hollis, you’re a mess and a half.” Betty states without looking up from whatever weird, ancient book she decided to read this week. 

Laura just groaned in response, looking down at herself for the first time in hours, and realized Betty was correct. She was covered in sweat and dirt and probably remnants of vomit- how that got there she had no clue but it’s definitely there. 

“And somehow you look great.” Laura mutters. And it was true. Betty was six feet of model-esque beauty. 

Betty just smirked and continued reading. The book was ridiculously large and smelled like mold. At least it smelled better than Laura. Betty flipped through a notebook full of scrawled out notes in various languages and began translating a passage. Despite being roommates for over a year, Laura wasn’t exactly sure what Betty did for a living. All Laura knew about Betty was that she was unfairly smart (like superhuman smart), was only a few years older than Laura but somehow already had two degrees, and her own apartment. Despite their differences- and all the time Betty seems to find for partying- the two actually get along great. Even though most of the stuff Betty says goes way over Laura’s head (because, really, who knows ancient Sumerian?) and Betty hates Disneyland.

“Anyways, I’m going to my room.” 

Betty takes an exaggerated sniff of the air. “How ‘bout a shower first there, skipper?” 

Laura just rolls her eyes and tries her best to stifle a laugh.

////

One thing Laura Hollis has always loved is learning. Not school, not necessarily. School, especially high school, was okay- it was just too many deadlines and useless classes, because  _ seriously _ , when will she ever need to know calculus in her day to day life? College is a bit better, because at least she has a lot more choice over the classes she takes and at what times. Getting up at six am every weekday for four years? Absolute torture. 

College was better, even if she often had to go straight from work to class, without a shower and somehow the stench of her workday managed to cling to her even when she changed her clothes. Sure, some of her professors were garbage and some of the general ed classes were beyond boring. But she chose to be here, she chose to learn. Even if community college wasn’t her first choice. She had always dreamed of going to university, far from home- maybe even in another country- so she could get out and see the world. She dreamed of joining all kinds of clubs, making friends from different corners of the world, and having a roommate (or roommates!) that shared her passion for learning.

Her dreams were shattered when her mom died her junior year of high school. Her mom was killed by a drunk driver one night, when she was on her way home from work. Laura’s entire world was shattered just like the car windshield. Her father was a complete mess. He cried for days. For months he barely ate, barely slept. Laura had to get a job at Cold Stone to help them make ends meet. When senior year rolled around and it was time to submit college applications, Laura knew she couldn’t leave behind her dad. So she put her dream of attending a big university away and applied at the local city college. 

It wasn’t the grand adventure she always dreamed about. But it was still enough.

////

Laura’s favorite subject had always been english. Mostly because her earliest memories consisted her mom staying up late, reading her Harry Potter. Whenever Laura was feeling stressed or scared, she remembered those nights. Cuddled into her mom’s side, listening to her read the books under the soft light from Laura’s desk lamp…. It’s the safest and most content Laura’s ever felt. It didn’t stop with Harry Potter, either. There was The Chronicles of Narnia, A Wrinkle in Time, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland, The Hobbit, and so many more. Even when Laura outgrew being read to, often she and her mom would sit in the living room together and read.

When her mom died that love for english didn’t fade. It just became so, so painful. Every class was a reminder of the woman she lost. In the first few months after her mom was killed, Laura would often rush out of the classroom, tears stinging her eyes and sobs burning inside her chest.

(Teachers gave her a free pass because no one wanted to deal with the grieving girl who lost everything)

There a few times she ditched class altogether, sneaking off campus to take a bus downtown or walking for hours amidst suburbia. Once, on the anniversary of her mom’s death, she couldn’t even muster the energy to get out of bed. She had a paper due on the symbolism in  _ Anne of Green Gables _ \- her mother’s all time favorite book- which she hadn’t even started. Every time she opened the damned word document she just cried or sat there frozen feeling everything and nothing all at once. 

Almost three years had passed since her mom’s death. A lot of the pain has passed, too. She can go to her mom’s favorite bookstore without spontaneously bursting into tears. When she visits her dad she can look at her mom’s old bookshelf without feeling like she will shatter. 

There was still some pain though, some things she wasn’t certain if she could get over.

Like the fact that she couldn’t touch the books in her mom’s collection or read  _ Anne of Green Gables _ or read Harry Potter without feeling a dull ache deep in her soul. 

Laura still loved english despite this.

(Despite the pain it brought her)

////

Danny, Laura thinks- and not for the first time-, is a lot like her mother. Danny is brave and passionate and protective. But she’s also kind and gentle and chivalrous. 

Without hesitation Danny agreed to help Laura with her paper. Without hesitation Danny agreed to meet Laura at a coffee shop despite just getting off an eight hour shift. The paper was due in two days and Laura was hopelessly lost on it.

“Your organization is… well it’s nonexistent. You jump from idea to idea. From topic to topic. But your ideas themselves are really solid. So is your commentary.” Danny explains as she goes over Laura’s essay with her. It’s drenched in red ink and becomes even more so as Danny continues helping Laura. She gives Laura a few ideas on how to organize her paper. As well as how to make her conclusion stronger than just a restatement of her thesis.

By the end of their impromptu tutor session Laura feels a hell of a lot better about her essay. 

“Here, Danny, let me buy you a coffee or a cookie or something.” Laura offers, reaching into her wallet to pull out a few crumpled bills.

Danny puts her hand on Laura’s- and Laura is a bit disappointed to find that she feels so electricity at her touch- lowering her hand down.

“It’s okay, Laura. I didn’t do this for free coffee. I did it because you’re my friend.” There’s something about the way Danny says friend. It’s a little bit soft and a little bit sad and very much  _ not _ Danny at all.

Laura hugs Danny goodbye and tries not to pay attention to the way Danny’s eyes look all trembling and sad and a little heartbroken. Laura knows that Danny has been talking with LaF and Perry. And that LaUGH and Perry are talking about Carmilla and Laura. Because Danny is strong and brave, she won’t say anything to Laura or try to impose on them. 

That’s something Laura’s mom would have done: sacrificed her own happiness for that of others.

(Perhaps that is why Laura crushed on Danny so hard when they met; gravitated so much towards her. Danny was the closest thing Laura had to the one person she loved and lost)

(And that is why it would have never worked out between them)

_____

Carmilla’s first day of classes begins with her hitting the snooze button three times. It’s eleven am but even that was too early to be awake. 

(Really any time the sun was up was too early for her)

She considers hitting the snooze button a fourth time but she doesn’t want to get on her professor's bad side on the first day. So she heaves out of bed, puts on the first clothing items she can find, grabs her bag, and strolls out the door. The good thing about owning all black? She always matches. 

**_Mattie (8:07 am):_ ** _ I have an early day. Picking you up at five pm for Disneyland. Please bring sunscreen. _

Carmilla groans because she really doesn’t want to go to Disneyland today. She was hoping to lose herself in a book or maybe watch some stupid Netflix show. But it is very hard to say no to Mattie and maybe, just maybe, she is hoping to see a certain Jungle Cruise skipper again today. So she fires back a quick response before shutting off her phone because this is a lecture she actually wants to pay attention to. 

////

The park is virtually empty when Carmilla and Mattie arrive. Mattie makes a beeline for Fantasyland, walking briskly towards the teacups.

“Lola, dear, truly lovely to see you.” Mattie greets.

Perry gives them both a smile. “Lovely to see you as well, Ms. Belmonde.”

“Nice to see you, too, Betty Crocker.” Carmilla says as she passes the two and claims a red teacup. Out of all the cups this one spins the fastest and Carmilla is an adrenaline junkie at heart. 

“Lola, I do not know how you do it. I tried your brownie recipe last week and they ended up like hockey pucks. They had absolutely nothing on yours.” Mattie says.

Perry gives the woman a thoughtful look, mentally going over the recipe in her head. “Did you use butter and not shortening?”

“Yes. I told you I followed the recipe Lola-”

“Was the butter soft?”

“Of course it was! I stuck it in the microwave.”

Perry’s face went ghost white. “You can’t put in the microwave! You have to leave it out at room temperature and let it soften on it’s own.” 

“How will that make a difference?”

“It will, just trust me.”

“Honestly, Lola, you should be opening your own bakery not operating rides at a theme park.” Matie tells the woman.

“And leave you to terrorize whoever took my place? Not a chance.” Perry replies with a smile. A real, genuine smile. Not the one that Perry kept plastered on her face for appearances. But rather the kind she reserved only for friends.

“I suppose you do have a point.”

////

Carmilla watches Mattie as she spins in her teacup. Mattie’s face is cracked open in a smile of pure, childlike joy. Seeing her smile like this is rare. Even when she is at Disneyland Mattie rarely smiles like this. 

Carmilla cannot pinpoint when Mattie fell in love with Disneyland. But she can pinpoint why she herself hates it. The long lines and heat and overpriced food are only a part of it. A small part, at that.

When Carmilla first came to live with Mattie and Maman, after her biological parents were deemed unfit parents by the CPS and she was separated from her younger brother Will, her new family took her on a trip to Disneyland. Carmilla doesn’t remember much about it. At the time she was ten, sad and angry and missing her little brother. She didn’t want to go to Disneyland. She wanted her family back. Being around all those happy families reminded Carmilla of the family she lost and couldn’t regain. Every time she goes she’s reminded of everything she doesn’t have. 

It’s gotten better over the years. The angst and anger of her preeteen and teenage years have faded. Now she has so many good memories of it with Mattie and those good memories are beginning to outweigh the bad feelings. She can stomach constant trips to Disneyland if it means spending time with her sister. They may not be related by blood and Mattie might not be the best person but Mattie has always been there for Carmilla. Through heartbreaks and bullies and late nights when Carmilla ached for her old family. Mattie was always there. Without question, without hesitation. 

“What is on your mind, darling?” Mattie asks when they’re off the ride. 

Carmilla wants to hug Mattie. Whisper in her ear how grateful she is to have Mattie in her life. But that’s not how their relationship is. Instead, Carmilla shrugs and says, “Nothing Mattie.”

Mattie regards her with a tenderness that is so very rare for her that Carmilla thinks she understood what she was trying to say.

////

A few months go by. Carmilla’s life is a blur of school, homework, and trips to Disneyland. Almost every time they go, they now go on Jungle Cruise. More than a few times Carmilla actually found herself  _ asking _ if they could go on the ride- which was something she never thought she’d do. 

(God what was happening to her?)

This semester her midterms had been particularly intense. She felt completely wiped out once midterm week was over and she was looking forward to holing up in her dorm room and not interacting with anyone for 48 hours. Mattie, however, found that unacceptable. She wanted to take Carmilla out to ‘celebrate’. Really all it was was a flimsy excuse to drag Carmilla to Disneyland for the second time in one week. 

Carmilla didn’t even put up a fight. If she was being honest with herself she was excited to see Laura. But she didn’t tell Mattie that. Even though Mattie probably already knew. In addition to being one of the best lawyers on the West Coast, Mattie could also read Carmilla like a book. Despite no doubt knowing of Carmilla’s (embarrassing) crush Mattie kept quiet about it. Which was weird because next to Disneyland teasing Carmilla was one of Mattie’s favorite pastimes. 

Whatever. Carmilla didn’t want to dwell too much on that. Or anything. She wanted to shut off her brain for a few hours, eat churros, and possibly give Laura some shit during their Jungle Cruise ride.

////

Carmilla had no less than four churros by the time they made it to the Jungle Cruise ride. It was getting late and the ride was usually less busy at night considering it was harder to see without daylight. Her and Mattie shuffled on board, Carmilla throwing a smirk in Laura’s direction. 

Maybe if Carmilla had been paying closer attention she would have seen the puffiness of Laura’s eyes. Or heard the girl sniffling. Or have noticed that her smile was just a little too forced. And maybe, if Carmilla had bothered to get to know Laura beyond the fact that she made a cute face when she was angry, Carmilla would have known that today is the anniversary of Laura’s mom’s death. 

But Carmilla didn’t know any of this. 

(If she had she wouldn’t have teased Laura. At all)

(She may be rude and mean and have no tact in certain situations but she wasn’t  _ evil _ )

////

Carmilla first realized something may have been off when she made an innuendo and instead of ignoring it, Laura huffed out an indigent puff of air. The second time was when Carmilla made fun of the lions eating the zebra and Laura rolled her eyes. The third time occured when Carmilla asked if the boat could go any faster and Laura gave Carmilla a death stare.

Really, it should have taken less than three times but Carmilla, for all of her philosophy and literature smarts, could be really fucking stupid. And, considering that around the fourth or fifth time Carmilla realized something was wrong, she probably should have stopped pressing Laura’s buttons. But this was one of those situations where Carmilla had no tact.

////

The ride ended.

So did Laura’s patience. 

As Carmilla gave Laura a ‘see you later, cutie’ any last semblance of the Kind-Disgustingly-Cheerful-Laura vanished and was replaced by something that was, to put it mildly,  _ terrifying _ . 

Laura honest to fuck  _ growled _ and then stomped her foot on the ground. “Seriously?” She snarled and Carmilla would have taken a step back if the boat wasn’t so damn small. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

Carmilla thought of coming up with a witty response. But there was rage and pain in Laura’s eyes and any remark Carmilla could have come up with died in her throat.

Laura shook her head. Tears were pooling in in her eyes. How desperately Carmilla wanted to make those tears go away.

“Are you really so damaged that you’re incapable of caring about anyone?” Laura’s voice is barely above a pained whisper yet to Carmilla it sounds like a bomb exploding in her eardrums. 

Her heart sinks to her feet as she looks into Laura’s eyes. 

Carmilla clenches her jaw and steps out of the boat because she  _ cannot _ deal with this right now. 

(If Carmilla was paying more attention she would have noticed that Laura, with a raw voice and bleeding heart, was calling Carmilla’s name)

But Carmilla just kept walking. And walking. And walking. The only thought on her mind was that she was glad Mattie decided to skip out on this ride. 

////

_ “Are you really so damaged that you’re incapable of caring about  _ anyone _?” _

Laura’s harsh words echo in Carmilla’s ears, hours and hours after they were spoken. 

She hadn’t said anything to the skipper because, really, what  _ could _ she say? She did care about people. Even the people that brought her pain.

There was a cardboard box in Carmilla’s closet. It was filled ghosts; memories of a girl she hadn’t been in years and would never be again. Photos of her and Will and their parents. A few crafts Will did in school. An essay Carmilla wrote about the person she loved the most (Will) in fifth grade. 

She hadn’t opened the box in years. Yet, no matter where she lived, she had to have the box with her. Maybe it brought her some comfort. Maybe it was to remind herself that no matter how bad things got she would always the good memories. Days at the beach or exploring downtown LA, Will’s popsicle stick picture frames and macaroni art that he made with all the love of his tender little four year old heart. 

Without thinking she took the box from it’s spot in the corner of her closet and dumped the contents unceremoniously on her bed. For a long time she just stared at the items. As if expecting them to give her answers to questions she had not yet asked. 

Carmilla thinks about her family. She hasn’t thought about them in a long time. When she first got separated them, they were all she could think about. Every minute of every hour her thoughts were consumed with being reunited with them and being a family again. Or her parents being better than they were and they never got seperated in the first place. Or no one calling CPS and they lived- maybe not happily- but still ever after. After a while, she created a game. A game that consisted of her spending hours and hours creating a life for her family. Mostly, a life for Will. Mattie, who was never one for games (ironic for someone who spends so much of her life at fucking  _ Disneyland) _ hired a private investigator a few years ago to track down her family- Will specifically-, to see what they were up too now. But Carmilla didn’t want to hear his findings. She wants to believe her own version.

And this is what she believes:

Her parents are doing okay. They work jobs they don’t hate, live in a safe enough neighborhood, and can pay their bills on time. 

Will was adopted by a loving and supportive family. They have a dog and two cats. Will does well enough in school and has plenty of friends. He takes art classes at the local community enter and wants to try out for the baseball when he gets to high school next year. He’s not sure what he wants his career to be, but making a career out of his art would be super cool. He doesn’t remember much about his sister but still hopes she’s as happy as he is. 

(Carmilla has thought about asking Mattie what she and her PI found out. But if she’s being honest, she’s a little afraid. Afraid that reality won’t match up with the fictional life she created for him. Worried that he won’t be happy)

(Besides, Carmilla has always been a sucker for a happy ending)

(She keeps the box to remind herself that no matter how crappy your beginning is, your ending can always be happier)

_____

Okay. 

So.

Maybe, just  _ maybe _ , Laura was a little too harsh to Carmilla earlier today.

…

_ Fine. _ She was  _ super _ harsh. 

But, in her defense, she regretted the words as soon as they came out of her mouth. She wished she could shove the words back in or that she had a time turner so that she never said them in the first place or that she chased after Carmilla to tell her how sorry she was. 

None of that happened. So Laura was stuck with that conversation playing on repeat in her brain when she should have been focusing on her english paper. Yeah,  _ that _ wasn’t going to happen tonight. Laura shut her laptop a bit more aggressively than necessary then plopped down dramatically on her bed. 

She wished she had some way to contact Carmilla. Even if she did, what would she say? ‘Hey, sorry about how much of a massive jerk I am.’ ‘Apologies, m’lady, for how obtuse I am. Please accept this and a thousand more apologies’ ? Yeah, it’s the anniversary of her mom’s death. And yeah, she feels about a million different kinds of pain. But that’s not an excuse to lash out at someone. Especially not in the way she did.

“Ugh!” Laura groans into her pillow. 

Maybe if she just lays in her bed forever all of her problems will be magically solved for her. 

////

She’s not sure exactly how long she lays in bed. It must be a while because Betty storms into her room, rustles through her closet, throws some clothes at Laura and announces very loudly that they’re going out tonight. 

“You do realize I’m not old enough to drink right?” Laura asks, face still in her pillow.

“Not legally, anyway. Just get up and put those on,” She jutted her chin at the clothes on top of Laura, “We leave in twenty minutes.”

“Where are you taking me?” But Betty had already slammed Laura’s bedroom door.

////

Turns out, Betty took her to some house party that a friend of a friends was throwing. By the time they got there the house was already packed. Laura wasn’t even through the front door when people started handing her drinks. She took them, hearing her dad’s voice in her head about how there could be drugs in the cheap beer she was now guzzling down. She couldn’t find it in herself to care. She was in a shitty mood and she she couldn’t get that hurt expression Carmilla had when Laura yelled at her out of her head.

So she drank and drank and drank. 

(She’s really glad that her life isn’t a rom com. If it was then Carmilla would have shown up at the party and that was a mess she was glad she didn’t have to clean up)

////

The next morning- or afternoon, to be more precise- Laura woke up with the worst hangover she’s ever had. Not that she’s had a lot. Only three. Which isn’t too big of a number for an almost twenty year old college girl. 

Last night was a haze of foggy memories. Her head hurt so bad. All she remembered was how bad the beer tasted. And loud music. Maybe some table dancing? 

Laura got up, slowly, and felt like she was going to barf. She had passed out on the couch. Of her own apartment. Which is good because that meant she got home safe. After mustering up all the willpower she could find she heaves herself off the couch and makes her way down the hall. Betty’s door is open, with Betty sprawled out in her bed. Loud snores erupt from her at semi-regular intervals. 

////

After forcing herself to eat some toast, chug two bottles of water, and take a shower, Laura assess the damage from last night. Still in her tower she sits at her desk, scrolling through her phone. There are no texts from strange numbers, no embarrassing posts in her social media, and no missed calls from any of her friends or dad. So things didn’t get too out of hand. A few dozen blurry pictures of her drinking shots, dancing on a table, and puking in some stranger’s bathroom now occupy her camera roll but she deletes them all so they’ll never see the light of day. 

She early drops her phone in surprise when it rings loudly. LaF’s contact photo- the one of them in their Bill Nye costume they wore last Halloween- appears on Laura’s screen. She answers it. 

“Hello?”

_ “Is there a Harry Potter marathon on TV or did you forget about brunch today with me and Perry?” _

“Shit,” Laura smacks her forehead, “I totally forgot, LaF, I am so sorry.” 

_ “It’s no problem, Laura. I just wanted to call you to make sure you weren’t dead and that we didn’t need to bail you out of jail.”  _

Laura gives a pathetic excuse for a chuckle at LaF’s joke. 

_ “Laur, is everything okay? _ ”

“I- I uh went out partying with Betty. Got a pretty nasty hangover. But I’ll be okay.”

There’s a shuffling on the other end of the phone. Laura immediately regrets telling LaF she’s hungover. The last time Laura got drunk was on the two year anniversary of her mom’s death. She’s never gone drinking unless she was in some kind of bad headspace.

_ “You’re still at your apartment, yeah? Perry and I will bring over some food and we’ll talk.” _

Laura wants to say no. Say that it’s not necessary for them to rush over. But she knows her friends. And she knows herself. It’s probably best to talk about what happened. Maybe LaF and Perry can help her figure some of her shit out.

////

True to their word, LaF and Perry bring bags of food from their favorite market. Perry gets busy making her hangover remedy- it’s basically a smoothie with every type of fruit and a few veggies- while LaF sits down with Laura at the kitchen table.

“What happened, Laura?” LaF asks. Perry sets down a glass full of smoothie and sits down next to LaF.

In an attempt to stall Laura chugs the entire smoothie in one go. She slams the glass down on the table, wipes her mouth, and avoids eye contact.

“I- I said some pretty nasty things to Carmilla yesterday.” 

LaF and Perry share a look. Like they know something Laura doesn’t.

“What exactly did you say to her?” Perry wonders, gently.

“Uh… I’d rather not repeat it.” Her voice trails off and she fidgets with her hands and she cannot manage to make eye contact.

LaF raises an eyebrow, “We can’t help you if we don’t know what happened.”

So Laura sighs and bites her lip and tells them everything that happened. 

(She feels her heart sink in her chest for the second time in 24 hours and she suddenly feels like that sixteen year old girl who just lost everything)

“You care about her a lot.” Perry says when Laura’s tale is finally done. It’s not a question but a statement. Like saying the sky is blue or cat's meow or water is wet. 

Laura nods, not trusting her voice right now. But ‘care’ doesn’t sound like the right word. It’s too small, too generic for what she feels. It’s way too soon to call it love but god damn it  _ that _ is what Laura feels when she even just thinks about Carmilla. 

LaF holds Perry’s hand. “Did I ever tell you the story of how me and Perry met?” 

“Yes, a million times. You met in the park when you were five.” 

“Well, there’s a bit more to the story.” LaF says with a soft smile on their face. “It’s true that Perrie and I met when we were five. And that we met at the park. But I remember when I first saw her my heart felt like it was in my throat. Something felt like it had clicked into place.” LaF’s small smile breaks into a full out grin. “I was so scared to talk to her. She was so pretty, playing on the swingset and laughing with her friends. But I knew that if I didn’t take that risk I’d regret it. So I took it. I took the risk.”

Laura is quiet, digesting the story and the meaning behind it.

“So, I guess my point is, Laura, are you willing to take that risk too?”

_____

Carmilla’s fingers slam on the keyboard of her laptop. The hurt she felt at Laura’s words gave way into anger. Anger she is currently channeling into finishing her philosophy paper. Only her paper is garbage. Half the sentences don’t even make sense and the other half are so complex they are bordering on convoluted. Frustrated, she slams her laptop and marches over to her bed. 

////

She’s not sure how long she stays there, staring at the ceiling, when she hears a knock on the door. 

Which is weird. She’s not expecting any kind of company. Not that she ever has company to begin with. The only people that enter her dorm are the cleaning ladies. But they normally just barge in since they have keys. So she waits, hoping that whoever it is will go away. The knocking only grows more insistent. With a heavy, annoyed sigh, she hops off her bed and yanks back the door ready to yell at whoever the hell is disturbing her.

All words are caught in her throat when she sees Mattie standing at her doorstep. 

“Took you long enough.” Mattie scoffs

“Mattie I’m not in the fucking mood to go with you to fucking Disneyland.”

“That is not why I am here.” Mattie says, stepping past Carmilla into the dorm room. Her designer clothes that cost as much as Carmilla’s tuition clash with the cinderblock walls and cheap dorm room furniture. 

“Then why are you here?” Carmilla questions with crossed arms.

“You have not answered any of my calls or texts. I was worried you entering one of your brooding spirals so I came over. Turns out my suspicions are correct.” Mattie explains.

“How the fuck could you know that?”

“Your harsh language, for starters. As well as the punk rock music that was blasting when I first knocked on the door. The bags under your eyes. Your  _ smell _ . When was the last time you showered?” 

Carmilla rolls her eyes. 

“Fine so I’ll shower or whatever. Now go the fuck away.” Carmilla snarls.

“No. I will  _ not _ go away. I’m worried about you, Carmilla.” Somehow Mattie’s tone is gentle and harsh all at once. 

Mattie’s confession of her worry sends a flare of feeling straight to Carmilla’s gut. Carmilla knows her sister cares about her but neither one of them have ever been good at expressing emotions. 

(Which is probably why Carmilla was blasting punk rock music like some kind of stupid teenager)

“I’m fine.” The tastes sour on Carmilla’s tongue.

“No. You’re not. Please, Carmilla, tell me what is going on.” Mattie never says please. Never uses a tone that is purely gentle and soft. Never pries unless she is seriously worried. 

Carmilla clenches her jaw, sighs, and lets her gaze fall to the floor. 

“Fine, okay if it’ll get you off my back. Take a seat.” Carmilla gestures at the couch. Mattie sits down and Carmilla sits next to her and an awkward silence follows.

“Talking normally works by opening your mouth and making sounds come out of it.”

“Oh shut up you asshole.” Carmilla says but the edge is taken out of her words because feelings really aren’t her strong suit. 

Mattie raises an eyebrow. “Is this about what that Jungle Cruise skipper said to you the other day?” 

“How the hell did you know that?” Carmilla questions.

Mattie lets out a guffaw. “Darling, it is my  _ job _ to know things. Besides,” Mattie gives Carmilla a pointed look, “you like to think you have this brooding and dark mystique but you are not as mysterious as you wish you were.”

“What-” Carmilla clears her throat of the knot growing in it, “What do I do, then Mattie?”

“Do you truly care about her?” Mattie asks this like she already knows the answer.

“Yes.” 

It surprises Carmilla that she replies without pause. It surprises her because she only truly cares about a handful of people- two actually. Mattie and Will. Will because that’s her little brother and she’d always care about him no matter how much time has passed since she last saw him. And Mattie because despite their lack of blood ties, Mattie  _ is  _ her sister. But Laura isn’t her sibling. Hell, they’ve barely talked to each other at all. But that doesn’t change the fact that Carmilla looked at Laura and felt like something finally  _ clicked _ . She’s not sure what clicked, exactly, but something did. It’s like something from those gross, cliche romance novels Carmilla could never stomach. There was just something about Laura. 

"You never want to admit it, Carmilla, but you have always been a tender hearted girl.” Mattie tells her. It sounds almost scolding. 

Carmilla opens her mouth to say how she is  _ not _ tender hearted in the least. Mattie, however, keeps talking. 

“There is nothing wrong with wanting to be perceived as strong and capable. But you shouldn't hide who you are. Especially not to the people you care about.”

“Okay, Mattie,” Carmilla sighs, “So what should I do?” She’s done pretending that she doesn’t care about Laura because it’s pretty obvious that she does at this point. 

Mattie chuckles. “Oh my, kitty. You have always had a habit for making things so much more complicated than they need to be.” 

“What do I do then?” Carmilla was growing a little bit agitated.

“What you need to do is show this girl you care.”

(It’s so simple yet so difficult)

_____

The next time Laura saw Carmilla it was two weeks after her impromptu explosion. Carmilla looked the same as she always did: black clothes, slightly sunburned skin, apathetic look on her face. Laura wasn’t sure what she was expecting. It’s not like Carmilla would dramatically change her look or demeanor. 

Except her demeanor  _ had _ changed. She was quiet, climbing on the boat without a word or a flirty smirk, she didn’t say a word the entire ride. A few times, Laura chanced glances at Carmilla. She would look at Laura like Laura was a math problem she couldn’t quite solve.

(It was weird. This was weird. Laura wanted the snarky Carmilla back)

She watched Carmilla exit the boat. 

_ Take a risk _ Laura told herself. 

“Hey, Carmilla?” Saying the other girl’s name felt strange on Laura’s tongue.

Carmilla, who was already out of the boat, turned around. “Yeah, cutie?”

“I- I wanted to apologize. For what I said a few weeks ago.” She notices Carmilla stiffen but continues. “It was way out of line. Like  _ way _ out of line. And I wish I could take it back but I can’t and I am so sorry.” Laura bites her lip to keep herself from rambling further.

“It’s okay, Laura.” Carmilla replies. 

Laura grabs Carmilla’s wrists as she walks away. 

“No, no it’s not okay. Can I- I don’t know buy you a coffee?”

Something flashes in Carmilla’s eyes. It’s soft and vulnerable and lasts only a second. It’s replaced by Carmilla’s apathetic mask. Carmilla glances over her shoulder at the long line. “Aren’t you in the middle of something?”

“After my shift tonight. Meet me at the Starbucks on Disneyland Drive at eight?” She’s not sure why she’s so desperate to talk to Carmilla. Or why she has to do it tonight. Maybe it’s because LaF’s words are ringing in her ears  _ ‘You need to take a risk’ _ . 

“I’ll be there.” Carmilla finally replies and it feels like relief.

“Cool, cool I’ll see you tonight.”

“Cutie.”

“Yeah?”

“Are you going to let go of my wrist?”

“Crap, yeah, sorry.” Laura says, letting go of Carmilla’s wrist.

Carmilla gives Laura a half smile. Not a flirty smirk, not a sarcastic curling of the lips, but a genuine part of a smile. It makes Laura’s inside grow warm.

“Smooth, sundance, smooth.” Carmilla replies, walking away.

(It wasn’t until Laura was halfway through the next ride that she realized Carmilla had called her Laura)

////

Each second of her shift feels like an hour, each hour feels like an eternity. Time crawls and crawls and crawls on. Laura swears that the space/time continuum was somehow broken because there is no other explanation for how  _ slow _ everything feels.

It takes a century for her shift to finally end. She’s clocked out and practically running towards the Starbucks before you can say ‘Mickey Mouse’. She has half a mind to take a shower, change her clothes, or at least brush her hair. But Laura doesn’t want to risk being late.

So once her shift is finally over she grabs her stuff and basically sprints to the Starbucks.

(At least she has the presence of mind to catch her breath before entering)

////

When Laura enters the Starbucks she sees Carmilla already there, sitting at a table nursing a drink. 

“I told you I was gonna buy you coffee.” Laura says because pleasantries be damned at this point. 

“Next time.” Carmilla replies.

Laura’s heart skips a beat at the mere possibility of a next time. At the possibility of doing this- whatever  _ this _ is- again. 

Carmilla smiles at Laura’s blushing, dopey face, and it feels like coming home.

(Perhaps Laura was wrong. Maybe this girl won’t be  _ complete  _ trouble)

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


______

epilogue 

______

Proposing at Disneyland is gross and cliche and everybody and their brother does it. But if there’s one thing Carmilla is, it’s a sentimental fool. This place is where they met, this is the place where they fell in love. 

(This is  _ their  _ place)

The ring feels heavy in Carmilla’s pocket. Despite feeling it’s weight burn a hole through jacket she taps her pocket every five seconds to make sure it’s still there. 

“C’mon, Carm! The ride for Haunted Mansion isn’t that long!” Laura says, lacing their fingers together and tugging Carmilla towards the ride. 

Even after being together for five years Carmilla still hasn’t found a way to resist Laura. She doesn’t think there is a way to resist her; especially not when Laura uses her puppy dog eyes. 

“Cutie, you don’t have to tear my arm off. I’m coming.” Carmilla does her best to keep her voice level. On the inside she was bubbling with nerves. In just a few hours she was going to propose to Laura. Really, she wanted to get down on one knee a long, long time ago. But Laura, ironically, was the more practical of the two. She was the one always saying they should graduate from college first, get their careers started, buy a house. They did all that. Laura graduated with a degree in Journalism and worked for a digital media company. Carmilla was working towards her PhD in philosophy and in the meantime worked as a TA. They just settled into their new home: a cozy little duplex that was perfect for them and the stray cat Carmilla found in their backyard one rainy night. 

Now it was finally time. 

Well, technically, it wouldn’t be time for a few more hours but details, details. 

////

Carmilla thought a lot about where exactly at Disneyland she was going to propose. For a while it was going to be in front of Sleeping Beauty’s castle. It’s big and pretty and seemed like the kind of place Laura would like. The more she thought about it, though, the more she realized that it wasn’t them. The only place that would really make sense was the Jungle Cruise ride. It’s where they met so it seems fitting it’s where Carmilla should propose. 

Thankfully, all Laura’s friends still worked at Disneyland and were more than eager to help Carmilla with the proposal. Not to mention Mattie with her deep pockets and many people owing her favors. This helped tremendously in making the proposal special and unique as opposed to your run of the mill get-down-on-one-knee-in-front-of-sleeping-beauty’s-castle. To be honest, Carmilla’s plan wasn’t too extravagant or too over the top. That wasn’t her style and it wasn’t Laura’s either. 

Her plan was simple. 

(She was still praying to every deity she knew that it would go as planned)

////

So the time has finally come. 

Closing is in ten minutes, the loudspeakers asking guests to begin to make their way to the exit. They had just finished riding Indiana Jones for the third time in a row, Laura’s hair windswept from the ride. Carmilla chuckles at Laura’s wild mane while she reaches out a hand to smooth it down. 

“It doesn’t look too bad, right?” Laura wonders.

“No, it looks perfect.” And,  _ god _ , does Carmilla believe every single letter. 

Laura smiles shyly, bumping her shoulder into Carmilla’s. “Has anyone ever told you that you, Carmilla Karnstein, are a dork?” 

Carmilla smiles back. “Yes. You tell me every day.”

“Good.” Laura kisses Carmilla’s cheek. “I don’t ever want you to forget it.”

Carmilla touches Laura’s cheek with the hand that isn’t holding Laura’s and pulls Laura in for a long, slow kiss. Her heart is beating faster and faster as she gets closer to proposing. They pull away slowly, Carmilla looking into Laura’s deep brown eyes. Even after all this time looking into Laura’s eyes still feels like coming home. She can’t wait to look into those eyes for the rest of her life. 

“C’mon.” Carmilla leads them out of the Indiana Jones ride. Laura realizes that they aren’t headed towards the exit of the park- or any exit. Carmilla is leading them further in.

“Uh, Carm? Did you not hear last call?” Laura wonders.

“I heard it cutie. I just have a little surprise for you.” Carmilla replies giving Laura a little smile.

“What’s the surprise?”

“If I told you that would kind of ruin the surprise.”

Laura rolled her eyes and followed her girlfriend. 

They walked to the entrance of The Jungle Cruise and Laura’s confusion only grew. Danny was working security in that side of the park and gave Carmilla a nod, signaling that it was safe for her to proceed with her plan. Stragglers from the last ride of the day shot them confused looks as the two made their way through the line. 

“Carm, seriously what it going on?”

“Just be patient, cutie.” Carmilla says.

Laura was about to reply when she saw one of the boats adorned with string lights and tea candles. Carmilla breathed a sigh of relief that whoever did the decorations was not only good but also quick. 

“Carm, what’s going on?”

“We’re going on a cruise, come on.” Carmilla answers, hopping in the boat and then helping Laura in. Laura noticed that Carmilla had chosen ‘The Amazon Belle’- which was the boat that Laura was operating when they first met.

Excitement fluttered in Laura’s belly as she sits down. She doesn’t want to get her hopes up- because Carmilla had done romantic gestures like this plenty of times before- but nothing quite like this. 

“Do you know how to drive these things?” Laura teases. It helps to calm her nerves and keep her excitedness in check.

“Of course I do, cupcake.” It’s as if the universe hates her because the boat lurches forward violently. Carmilla curses under her breath. Laura laughs. After setting a moderate pace for the ride, Carmilla begins her speech.

“I was never a fan of Disneyland. It was always crowded and hot and everything was too expensive. And it was just a constant reminder of the family I no longer had. It was never a happy place to me.” Carmilla pauses, gathering her thought. Despite having practiced what she was going to say she was still struggling to make this as perfect as possible. 

“Until I met you- as corny as it sounds. Mattie dragged me here a lot and I saw a lot of ride operators. But they never had your passion. Your excitement. Your… genuinity. Those are some of the reasons I fell in love with you. Some of the reasons why I  _ keep _ falling in love with you.” Carmilla bit her lip shyly before continuing. “Ever since the day we met I keep falling in love with you more and more every day. And I want to continue doing that. For the rest of our lives.”

Carmilla took a deep breath, took the ring out of her pocket, and got down on one knee. 

She couldn’t even ask the question because Laura was practically tackling her squealing “yes!” over and over again. 

(It was one of the greatest sounds Carmilla has ever heard)

So she puts the ring on her girlfriend-  _ fiancee _ \- and smiles so wide it hurts her cheeks. They kiss and hug and kiss some more.

(Okay, so, maybe Disneyland wasn’t so bad after all)


	2. epilogue

Proposing at Disneyland is gross and cliche and everybody and their brother does it. But if there’s one thing Carmilla is, it’s a sentimental fool. This place is where they met, this is the place where they fell in love. 

(This is  _ their  _ place)

The ring feels heavy in Carmilla’s pocket. Despite feeling it’s weight burn a hole through jacket she taps her pocket every five seconds to make sure it’s still there. 

“C’mon, Carm! The ride for Haunted Mansion isn’t that long!” Laura says, lacing their fingers together and tugging Carmilla towards the ride. 

Even after being together for five years Carmilla still hasn’t found a way to resist Laura. She doesn’t think there is a way to resist her; especially not when Laura uses her puppy dog eyes. 

“Cutie, you don’t have to tear my arm off. I’m coming.” Carmilla does her best to keep her voice level. On the inside she was bubbling with nerves. In just a few hours she was going to propose to Laura. Really, she wanted to get down on one knee a long, long time ago. But Laura, ironically, was the more practical of the two. She was the one always saying they should graduate from college first, get their careers started, buy a house. They did all that. Laura graduated with a degree in Journalism and worked for a digital media company. Carmilla was working towards her PhD in philosophy and in the meantime worked as a TA. They just settled into their new home: a cozy little duplex that was perfect for them and the stray cat Carmilla found in their backyard one rainy night. 

Now it was finally time. 

Well, technically, it wouldn’t be time for a few more hours but details, details. 

////

Carmilla thought a lot about where exactly at Disneyland she was going to propose. For a while it was going to be in front of Sleeping Beauty’s castle. It’s big and pretty and seemed like the kind of place Laura would like. The more she thought about it, though, the more she realized that it wasn’t them. The only place that would really make sense was the Jungle Cruise ride. It’s where they met so it seems fitting it’s where Carmilla should propose. 

Thankfully, all Laura’s friends still worked at Disneyland and were more than eager to help Carmilla with the proposal. Not to mention Mattie with her deep pockets and many people owing her favors. This helped tremendously in making the proposal special and unique as opposed to your run of the mill get-down-on-one-knee-in-front-of-sleeping-beauty’s-castle. To be honest, Carmilla’s plan wasn’t too extravagant or too over the top. That wasn’t her style and it wasn’t Laura’s either. 

Her plan was simple. 

(She was still praying to every deity she knew that it would go as planned)

////

So the time has finally come. 

Closing is in ten minutes, the loudspeakers asking guests to begin to make their way to the exit. They had just finished riding Indiana Jones for the third time in a row, Laura’s hair windswept from the ride. Carmilla chuckles at Laura’s wild mane while she reaches out a hand to smooth it down. 

“It doesn’t look too bad, right?” Laura wonders.

“No, it looks perfect.” And,  _ god _ , does Carmilla believe every single letter. 

Laura smiles shyly, bumping her shoulder into Carmilla’s. “Has anyone ever told you that you, Carmilla Karnstein, are a dork?” 

Carmilla smiles back. “Yes. You tell me every day.”

“Good.” Laura kisses Carmilla’s cheek. “I don’t ever want you to forget it.”

Carmilla touches Laura’s cheek with the hand that isn’t holding Laura’s and pulls Laura in for a long, slow kiss. Her heart is beating faster and faster as she gets closer to proposing. They pull away slowly, Carmilla looking into Laura’s deep brown eyes. Even after all this time looking into Laura’s eyes still feels like coming home. She can’t wait to look into those eyes for the rest of her life. 

“C’mon.” Carmilla leads them out of the Indiana Jones ride. Laura realizes that they aren’t headed towards the exit of the park- or any exit. Carmilla is leading them further in.

“Uh, Carm? Did you not hear last call?” Laura wonders.

“I heard it cutie. I just have a little surprise for you.” Carmilla replies giving Laura a little smile.

“What’s the surprise?”

“If I told you that would kind of ruin the surprise.”

Laura rolled her eyes and followed her girlfriend. 

They walked to the entrance of The Jungle Cruise and Laura’s confusion only grew. Danny was working security in that side of the park and gave Carmilla a nod, signaling that it was safe for her to proceed with her plan. Stragglers from the last ride of the day shot them confused looks as the two made their way through the line. 

“Carm, seriously what it going on?”

“Just be patient, cutie.” Carmilla says.

Laura was about to reply when she saw one of the boats adorned with string lights and tea candles. Carmilla breathed a sigh of relief that whoever did the decorations was not only good but also quick. 

“Carm, what’s going on?”

“We’re going on a cruise, come on.” Carmilla answers, hopping in the boat and then helping Laura in. Laura noticed that Carmilla had chosen ‘The Amazon Belle’- which was the boat that Laura was operating when they first met.

Excitement fluttered in Laura’s belly as she sits down. She doesn’t want to get her hopes up- because Carmilla had done romantic gestures like this plenty of times before- but nothing quite like this. 

“Do you know how to drive these things?” Laura teases. It helps to calm her nerves and keep her excitedness in check.

“Of course I do, cupcake.” It’s as if the universe hates her because the boat lurches forward violently. Carmilla curses under her breath. Laura laughs. After setting a moderate pace for the ride, Carmilla begins her speech.

“I was never a fan of Disneyland. It was always crowded and hot and everything was too expensive. And it was just a constant reminder of the family I no longer had. It was never a happy place to me.” Carmilla pauses, gathering her thought. Despite having practiced what she was going to say she was still struggling to make this as perfect as possible. 

“Until I met you- as corny as it sounds. Mattie dragged me here a lot and I saw a lot of ride operators. But they never had your passion. Your excitement. Your… genuinity. Those are some of the reasons I fell in love with you. Some of the reasons why I  _ keep _ falling in love with you.” Carmilla bit her lip shyly before continuing. “Ever since the day we met I keep falling in love with you more and more every day. And I want to continue doing that. For the rest of our lives.”

Carmilla took a deep breath, took the ring out of her pocket, and got down on one knee. 

She couldn’t even ask the question because Laura was practically tackling her squealing “yes!” over and over again. 

(It was one of the greatest sounds Carmilla has ever heard)

So she puts the ring on her girlfriend-  _ fiancee _ \- and smiles so wide it hurts her cheeks. They kiss and hug and kiss some more.

(Okay, so, maybe Disneyland wasn’t so bad after all)


End file.
